How to Support Someone Dealing with Postpartum Anxiety

Welcoming a new baby is often portrayed as a joyous time. But for many new parents, it can also bring overwhelming anxiety. The perinatal period is a crucial time for women’s mental health. Hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and lifestyle changes can trigger postpartum anxiety and depression. While these conditions often resolve naturally, many cases require professional intervention. Anxiety during pregnancy and after childbirth is common, but when it hinders self-care or baby care, it’s time to seek help. Untreated anxiety can impact bonding with the baby and even affect the infant’s behavior. As a friend or family member, you might want to support the new parent in your life but struggle to know where to start.

Recognizing Postpartum Anxiety Symptoms

Postpartum anxiety can manifest in various ways. Watch for distressing thoughts that persist beyond normal parental concerns. If a new parent becomes overwhelmed by fears of harming their baby or develops compulsive behaviors, it’s time to seek help. Prolonged mood changes, including irritability or tearfulness lasting more than two weeks, are red flags. While sleep deprivation is common for new parents, excessive worry about sleep may indicate anxiety. Feelings of guilt or regret about parenthood can also signal postpartum anxiety.

Educate Yourself About Perinatal Mental Health

While baby blues are common, affecting up to 80% of new mothers, it’s crucial to recognize when symptoms persist or intensify. Perinatal anxiety can manifest as racing thoughts, physical symptoms, and constant worry. Perinatal depression, affecting 1 in 5 women, may cause feelings of numbness, irritability, and disinterest. Educating yourself on these conditions helps you provide better support and recognize when professional help is needed. Postpartum Support International is a wonderful resource that provides up to date information, resources and support groups for peripartum birth parents as well as their partners.

Be Mindful of What You Say

When supporting someone with postpartum anxiety, approach with a curious mindset rather than trying to fix the problem. It might seem like offering a solution is the answer, but it could end up reinforcing the idea that they are failing. Instead, ask open-ended questions like “Tell me more about your experience” or “What’s your biggest worry?” and really listen. Offer practical support by helping with chores or attending appointments together. Remember, your role is to provide a supportive presence, not to solve everything. Reassure them that it’s okay to take time to adjust to parenthood and you don’t have to get everything right.

It’s especially important that you don’t compare them to other parents, as everyone’s journey is unique. In that vein, refrain from recommending social media as a source of support, as it often presents an unrealistic picture of parenthood. Be cautious not to overwhelm them with suggestions or theories. Resist the urge to self-diagnose their condition, as this requires a professional’s expertise.

Assist Them in Exploring Different Healthcare Options

One of the most helpful things you can do is to normalize seeking help. Emphasize that there’s no harm in reaching out for support, that lots of new parents go through this, and that there are treatments that work.

Encourage them to schedule a doctor’s appointment, especially if symptoms are impacting daily functioning or causing distressing thoughts. You could help prepare for the visit by listing symptoms and concerns and offer to attend with them. Medical doctors are a good first step to rule out any underlying conditions, but various other healthcare professionals can assist with postnatal anxiety and postpartum depression. These include social workers, psychiatrists and prescribing nurse practitioners, individual therapists, and couples therapists. You can find a list of therapists with specific training in perinatal mental health at PSI’s provider directory.

For severe cases involving safety concerns or unusual behavior, seek immediate help from a GP or contact a local crisis line. In Colorado, Colorado Crisis Services is a resource that is available 24/7 for crisis situations. Postpartum Support International also has a helpline that is staffed by trained volunteers who will direct you to whatever support services are appropriate. You can reach the helpline at https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/ or by calling1-800-944-4773 (4PPD).

A Kind Word Goes a Long Way

Postpartum Support International has a motto that I think can be a guiding force when trying to help someone struggling with peripartum anxiety or depression: “You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.” Listen without judgment, offering reassurance that recovery is possible. Validate that seeking help does not mean you’ve failed. Remember, your words can make a significant difference. Imagine what you’d want to hear if you were struggling. Sometimes, a simple “I’m here for you” can open the door to meaningful support.

By offering understanding, practical support, and encouragement, you can make a significant difference in the life of someone struggling with postpartum anxiety. Therapy can also be supportive in managing postpartum anxiety. We are here for you if you need help. Book a consultation today to learn more about therapy for postpartum anxiety.