How Does Online Couples Therapy Work?

Online couples therapy, also known as virtual couples counseling or telehealth, is a modern approach to relationship support that brings the benefits of traditional in-person therapy into the digital age. Telehealth allows couples to access professional help from the comfort of their own homes, using secure internet platforms to connect with therapists. At its core, the answer to how online couples therapy works is pretty simple: it’s a lot like in-person therapy and largely mirrors the structure and goals of traditional face-to-face counseling. Couples meet with a qualified therapist to discuss their relationship issues, work through conflicts, and develop stronger communication skills. The key difference lies in the medium: couples connect via video conferencing technology instead of sitting in a therapist’s office.

Most online therapy sessions involve both partners participating together from the same location. This setup allows the therapist to observe and guide interactions in real-time, just as they would in a physical office setting. The therapist can see facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, all crucial elements in understanding relationship dynamics.

The Effectiveness of Online Therapy

Research has shown that online therapy can be as effective as traditional in-person counseling for many couples. Studies indicate that people who choose virtual therapy report similar satisfaction levels with their treatment compared to those who opt for face-to-face sessions. This effectiveness extends to various aspects of relationship counseling, including:

  • Improving communication skills

  • Resolving conflicts

  • Rebuilding trust

  • Enhancing intimacy

  • Addressing specific relationship challenges

How Does Online Couples Counseling Work?

When participating in online couples therapy, you can expect to use a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform designed specifically for telehealth services. Couples typically connect with a therapist using video conferencing rather than a phone call, which allows for face-to-face interactions from the comfort of your own home. I find that this can be really important since I rely on body language and facial expressions to help me tune into clients.

Initial Sessions

During your first few video sessions, you’ll work with your therapist to establish treatment goals, share your relationship history, and build trust. This foundational work sets the stage for productive therapy. In my work, I see everyone involved in therapy in the first session and then I see each member of the couple separately. This gives me a chance to check in with each person about what they are wanting out of therapy and to learn more about their story and what they are bringing to therapy and the relationship. It's also a best practice in couples therapy that allows the therapist to check for safety in the relationship.

Ongoing Therapy Process

As therapy progresses, we will work together to explore the negative pattern in your relationship that leaves you feeling stuck or alone. When I'm doing couples therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy, I’m trying to help couples be more clear and direct with their communication and gradually have more and more vulnerable conversations. For more information about my approach, check out this post on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

After seeing both partners individually at the beginning of therapy, we mostly meet together as a group. In some cases, individual counseling with another therapist may be recommended to address issues like depression, anxiety or substance use.

Therapeutic Techniques

In therapy, your counselor will help you organize what’s happening when you feel stuck, alone or have a fight. I often frame this with the analogy of an iceberg. An iceberg reveals only a small portion of its total size and depth above the water; a lot of it goes unseen. The same can be true of our interactions with our partners. In couples counseling, we organize what's happening on the top part of the iceberg and then try to get curious about what's going on underneath so that you can communicate that more directly to each other.

By engaging fully in the process, online couples therapy can help you improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your relationship, all from the convenience of your own space.

Questions To Ask?

When seeking couples therapy, finding a counselor whose approach aligns with your needs is crucial. To determine if a therapist is the right fit, consider asking these key questions:

  • What therapeutic philosophy do you use?

  • What is the ultimate goal of therapy in your practice?

  • How will we measure progress and know that therapy is working?

  • Are there actions should we take outside of sessions to enhance our relationship?

  • What is the typical duration of therapy for couples?

  • What are your fees and payment options?

This way, you’ll gain valuable insights into the therapist’s methods, expectations, and compatibility with your relationship goals. While the format is different from traditional in-person sessions, the core principles and benefits of couples therapy remain the same. If you’d like to learn more, reach out about online couples counseling.

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