Ways to Prioritize Yourself While Caring for a Newborn

As a new parent, caring for your newborn can be all-consuming. The constant feedings, diaper changes, and sleep deprivation often leave you feeling overwhelmed and depleted. However, it’s crucial to remember that caring for yourself is as important as tending to your baby’s needs. By prioritizing your well-being, you’ll be better equipped to provide the love and care your little one requires. Here are some practical ways to nurture yourself while navigating the challenges of early parenthood. 

Making Time for Self-Care as a New Parent

It isn’t easy, but it’s so important. Here are some strategies to help you incorporate self-care into your daily routine:

Relax First

It's not that you never get a moment of downtime when you have a newborn, it's just that it can be super short and unpredictable! I know that when my kids were babies, I would sometimes think I had an endless expanse of naptime (translation: 1 hour lol) in which to take a nap or eat lunch or have a cup of tea. And then the baby would wake up early and I would be so mad. In retrospect, I wish I had let the chores slide. When the baby goes to sleep, take a shower right away. Immediately get yourself a cup of coffee. Or go lay on the couch and take a nap. Do not, I repeat, do not try to “just do a few dishes” before you relax. Relax first. Then if they happen to sleep for a long time, that's when you do some laundry.

Prioritize Sleep

Quality sleep is so essential for your physical and mental health. While uninterrupted nights may be rare, maximize your rest when possible. Try taking short naps when your baby sleeps or alternating night feedings with your partner. It can be so tempting to stay up late to get a little extra relaxing time at this stage, especially if you have a partner who is gone during the day, or an older child who also just went to bed. But overall, you might find that going to bed quite early actually makes your life easier. Sometimes the trick to surviving and even thriving on interrupted sleep is just to be in bed for much longer than usual.

And of course we've all heard it before, but limiting screens around bedtime, and especially during night feedings can be really helpful. You want your body to wake up as little as possible during the night feedings. Try a podcast or a book if you have a baby who takes a long time to nurse or drink their bottle. Looking at a bright screen every few hours in the middle of the night can be a recipe for insomnia.

Delegate and Accept Help

This is a big one. Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or accept assistance from family and friends. Allow others to help with household chores, meal preparation, or watching the baby for short periods. This will free up time for you to focus on yourself, whether taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy. For a lot of moms I talk to, this is actually pretty hard because they might have gotten the message that they need to do everything for their baby or they aren't a good mom. This brings us to the next point…

Edit Your Inputs

A big part of taking care of yourself as a new parent is not making it your job to be a perfect parent. Ask yourself where you are getting messages about what it means to be a good mom. Instagram? Tik Tok? An unachievable parenting book? A friend who is also a perfectionist? Consider temporarily distancing yourself from people and platforms that don't make you feel good about yourself right now.

Social media in particular can be pretty unhelpful in the early months (or maybe years) of parenting. We all know that social media is a highlight reel, but it can be hard to really internalize this. You might find yourself viewing other moms’ accounts and wondering why this seems so much easier for other people than it is for you. Or wondering why you can't seem to get it all done. Ask yourself if this is something you want in your life. Perhaps try conducting some experiments where you let go of social media for a few days or a week and see how you feel.

How to Ask for Help When You Need It

Recognize Your Limits

As a new parent, it’s crucial to understand that caring for a newborn is challenging. You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure how to handle certain situations. Recognizing your limits is the first step in prioritizing your well-being. Remember, admitting you need assistance is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a demonstration of self-awareness and responsible parenting.

Identify Support Systems

Take stock of your available support systems. These may include family members, friends, neighbors, or professional services. Create a list of individuals you can rely on for help with meal preparation, housekeeping, or childcare. If you have the means, this might include deciding to prioritize paying for some of these things.

Communicate Your Needs Clearly

When asking for help, be specific about what you need. For example, rather than saying, “I’m overwhelmed,” try, “Could you watch the baby for two hours this afternoon so I can rest?” This clarity will make it easier for others to provide targeted support and effectively meet your needs.

Setting Realistic Expectations for Yourself

Acknowledge the Learning Curve

Caring for a newborn involves a significant learning curve. You’re embarking on a new journey, and it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Understand that you won’t have all the answers immediately, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to learn and grow alongside your baby.

Redefine Your Priorities

During this transition period, you might need to reassess your priorities. Namely, you probably need to have fewer priorities. This is the part where I tell you that it's OK if your house is not very clean. I know this is easier said than done, but you can’t do everything and that’s ok. Try to focus on the most important tasks and be willing to let go of less important ones.

As you navigate the difficult yet rewarding journey of caring for a newborn, remember that prioritizing yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. You don’t need to be perfect and you deserve to be taken care of. Hopefully, some of these strategies can help you feel a little bit better and more confident while you take care of your baby. It’s also completely normal to need more support. If you could use someone to talk to, reach out to learn more about postpartum therapy.